Wisdom from our Residents

“Turn your wounds into wisdom”- Oprah Winfrey    

Since the pandemic started I have had the honour of facilitating three different virtual groups for our recovery home residents. I was met with gratitude and a willingness to go deep with the men and women who FCC supports through our Addiction Services.

Reflections of a Black Therapist

My name is Suzanne Trotman, I represent the Caribbean, Canadian, black, African ancestral diaspora.  I have been privileged to work with all colors within a number of countries in the Caribbean, South Africa and Canada.

I never gave a lot of thought to the therapeutic framework I am privileged to work in,  until the world stood still and witnessed  a major act of Racial Injustice with the killing of George Floyd that sparked the Black Lives Matters Movement in 2020.

There was collective vicarious trauma and grief that followed, which was compounded by the dysfunction created by COVID-19 restrictions that prevented us from gathering to comfort, mourn, process and regulate.

Reflections of a Barbadian Canadian

My name is Suzanne Trotman, a Registered Psychotherapist at Family Counselling Centre of Cambridge and North Dumfries and a clinician in the agency’s Children’s Wellness Hub, a partnership with the Cambridge Self-Help Food Bank.

I was born on the lovely island of Barbados in the Caribbean, and, no, I do not know Rihanna, the musician. LOL  My late husband and I moved to Canada with our 8 month old baby boy in 1996 to pursue studies in Toronto. 

It was a new chapter for us having lived in a predominantly monoethnic country, where capitalism still had and has a large influence.  We learned quite quickly as we transitioned to Toronto that in order to integrate and thrive there had to be trading of sociological mores.  We moved from a sunny warm climate to a country where at 4:30pm the sun started to set in the fall season.  We moved from  a predominantly black country to the all white neighbourhood (at the time) of Thornhill.  It took a year for me to settle in.

Keeping Your Relationship Strong

There is no doubt that the social isolation, loss and uncertainty of the Pandemic has taken its toll on relationships. Here are some ways to help keep your relationship strong and safe during this time:

1. CREATE a “Culture of Appreciation.” We have a negativity bias in our brains which makes us more inclined to hold onto and remember the challenges, disappointments and hurtful words or actions of another. Relationship expert, Dr. John Gottman explains that we can offset this by looking for and expressing gratitude for the things our partners are doing right as well as qualities we admire. This helps protect our relationships during difficult times and makes it easier to make repairs. Instead of bringing up problems in a blaming way which often pushes our partners further away and often leads to further frustration, through expressing appreciation we can help motivate them to do more.  Helping clients who are frustrated with their partners’ lack of support or contributions around the house to move away from focusing on the problem to looking for and reflecting back the good usually helps shift the dynamic and leads to increased closeness and cooperation. As an added bonus, research shows giving appreciation feels good to both the giver and the receiver. Try creating a culture of appreciation in all of your relationships, including the one with yourself and notice life become more joyful and problems easier to manage and solve.

Calling All Good Men

“Dear men, I know, I know. You are not the problem. You are one of the good guys. This is a good thing. I recognize that there are more of us good men than bad. You do not perpetuate violence. You would never hit a woman. I understand that….On Oct. 2, 2015 I woke up a “good man” with my girlfriend Colleen Sillito beside me. “Have fun at yoga,”…those were the last four words I ever said to her. Colleen never made it to yoga. Instead she was ambushed by her ex  common-law partner. He shot and killed her in the driveway outside her home in Fort Saskatchewan, subsequently taking his own life.” – Mike Cameron, Oct 2018 CBC.ca